Rula of the Week

Two members of our editorial staff were waiting to claim take-out from a local Kashmiri halal meat shop/kebab joint, famished by tireless devotion to this blog, when they met an anonymous good Samaritan, kebab roll fan, and martial arts devotee. This dude, along with the bloggers and a fourth patron, were watching an Indian soap opera via satellite on a incongruously large wood-paneled TV set, when he introduced himself to our staff as a lover of martial arts entertainment, who was curious if Indian kung fu flicks were available for rental or purchase. He explained that he had bought many movies for about $7 each at a nearby South Asian video emporium, but had never found any specifically Indian products. The bloggers had to respond that they couldn't help him. As the aggressively emotional story unfolded on the TV screen, and smoke from the tandoor oven lingered in the room, the dude showed a brilliant streak of prescient celluloid knowledge, paranormal ability, or both, when he miraculously predicted, within seconds of occurrence, that the male lead would pull out a jack-knife and attempt to stab his beloved. The counterpoisers showed true amazement at this preternatural feat, when the fourth kebab seeker, and the only one who actually spoke the language, interjected to point out that the distressed young man on screen was actually intending to commit sepuku using the blade, because, as the patron translated, the suitor was experiencing rejection from his girl's parents. The Rula immediately identified, relating to us that he had once "had an Indian girlfriend from Bangladesh who tried to pull that shit". Our South Asian friend, having already established his authority amongst the group, began to explain to the dude that Bangladesh was a separate country from India, beginning his history lesson "In 1947..." When the staffers' kebab and boti rolls finally came up, the Kashmiri cashier said that she had no change at all. Since our staff receives very generous food stipends in large bills, they were only able to come up with $7 in ones, a buck short of the tab. The Rula stepped right up and threw down the eighth dollar, no questions asked. What a guy.
P.S. Later research revealed that kung fu did have roots in India; see this article from kungfucinema.com. In addition, the 2001 Hindi language film Asoka (picture above), depicts the art of Kalarippayat, apparently one of the world's oldest martial disciplines. May our kebab shop savior locate it before too long.